Diamonds are Bunk

The event of my engagement to be married did not fall along conventional lines. I was a student, saving as much money as I could to make it stretch far enough to complete my tuition payments for my bachelor’s degree. I was paying for it myself with some inheritance, and money I earned. By the time my future bride and I decided that we should indeed marry, my bank account was running mighty thin. I moved into a cheaper apartment (a dungeon actually), deferred maintenance on my car, scammed free meals where I could, and watched my account dwindle in spite of working hard and living cheap.

That was no great problem for me really. I am somewhat abstemious by nature, and I was young and had no great expectation of wealth. I love fine things, but many of the things I consider fine are either not the same as what other people hold dear, or simply cost comparatively little. The problem was the diamond.

I will not explain here how much trouble it caused that I could not afford to by a “proper” diamond engagement ring. Certainly the so-called standard of a ring costing several months salary was out of reach. Even then I suspected that the whole diamond engagement ring thing was a scam. Yet it was hard for my fiancée to deal with people’s reactions when she told them she was engaged, and yet had no hardware to show for it. I eventually did purchase a ring (a sapphire flanked by two small diamonds), at some hardship. Suffice it to say that it was approaching the level of being a dealbreaker. I remember feeling put upon and trapped by some kind of worldwide conspiracy that had hoodwinked the world into thinking that a clear stone (undistinguishable from a piece of broken glass by most people) had been declared, arbitrarily, the sole indicator of honorable intent. The work, and sweat and struggle, I was putting in to earn the money so that we could actually be married counted for little or nothing. The abandonment of long held goals and the joyful and purposeful reordering of my life to align with the goal of marriage was not counted particularly important. The stone was the thing. It seemed that rather than marriage itself being the sacrament, the bauble had become the sacrament. It just seemed wrong.

Now 22 years later, I read an article in Atlantic that vindicates me. Read it here.   The article was originally published in 1982. I dearly wish I had read it then. I might not have gotten into less trouble, but I would have had more to stand on than a sneaking suspicion that I was being flim-flammed.

Turns out it’s a scam. It’s all a big swindle. Diamonds are just rocks after all. My marriage has lasted longer than our diamond, and is worth infinitely more than any rock I could buy. I knew it would turn out that way in the end, but it sure caused me a lot of trouble at the time. I have no love for DeBeers. The bastards.

Fecal Badinage

U. Utah Phillips may be my favorite old communist. He is a maker of song, raconteur, unabashed socialistic union partisan and general rabble rouser. For all that he is a true and authentic delight to listen to. He maybe even more favorite to me than Pete Seeger. You just got to appreciate a man that can carve a tale with such callous-handed mastery, wielding words like the sharpest wood chisels and an old honest-to-god 50 grit voice. Rural ribaldries. Raucus rusticana. Fecal badinage. Oh the language!

Phillips passed on this last year. His presence will be missed.    

Practical Ecclesiology 10 - Loaves and Fishes

I recently had a conversation with a friend who is a strong proponent of "large churches." As he puts it, "There are so many benefits to size, so many things you can do that you can't do in a small church." In his view, it's not just about programs or ministries or resources to support missionaries and projects (although that is certainly part of it). He sees that in larger churches people are more likely to find other people that they can connect with, people they "click" with. In a small church, you are pretty much stuck with what you have. 

I guess that can cut both ways. Kind of like family. 

In a family, you are pretty much stuck with what you have. A large extended family can certainly be a blessing, if you allow it to be. And it may require more effort to cultivate your love for certain people in a small family, because you have to...it's either love them or be an orphan. It seems it would be easier to strike out and start interviewing distant cousins to find somebody that you just LIKE better - to find a relationship that is more fun and not as much work. 

But then again, it is easy to get lost in a large family. To just drift. If you never attend the reunions, if you don't write letters and answer emails, if you never invite anyone over or even just drop by...you aren't really treating them like family. It's more like padding for your resume. Even if you go to the reunion, but stay just long enough to grab a few chicken wings, a bit of potato salad, get your picture taken and then leave, you've got a free meal, but not much of a family relationship. It's not the size of the group, it's what you bring to the group that seems to matter more.

I am coming to think that both options are fine. I used to be extremely suspicious of very large churches. I am tempering that somewhat. There are certainly drawbacks, but I am seeing that there are drawbacks no matter what the size. The drawbacks are different between big churches and little churches, but the world being what it is, there is no perfect situation. 

In the particular case of my church, the challenge seems to be size, but actually I suspect it is more a lack of understanding of how to leverage that size. Plus, in being small we are standing against the current of thought that likes to overlook the disadvantages of large churches, and inflate the challenges facing small churches. It seems the focus of many Churchy Anyalysts is "get big or get out" instead of how to best glorify God with your smallness. 

In considering this, I have often found the story of the loaves and fishes coming to mind. Here is a good retelling of it from Gary Haugen, president of International Justice Mission. He spoke at the Midwinter Conference for our denomination, The Evangelical Covenant Church. This is a conference specially for pastors to foster renewal, collaboration, and connection in their work. His account of the story goes to the heart of the matter for churches, especially small ones. 

Feeding the 5,000 - Speaker Gary Haugen from Covenant Communications on Vimeo.

I suspect that we have to do some real thinking about how to offer our loaves and fishes to Jesus. It seems it's mostly a matter of just passing the basket. If Jesus wants to do the miracle, he will do the miracle. If not...I guess that's up to him and folks will have to find their own lunch. But the precedent seems to indicate that He is predisposed to do the miracle. He tells us to just start passing the basket. He will decide how many He ends up feeding.

So the question is what are our personal loaves and fishes, and what does passing the basket look like for us? No matter what that looks like, in the final analysis, it's all about Jesus.

Chicago Stains

There is something perversely fun about writing something that requires a disclaimer right from the very beginning. So, in the spirit of good clean fun, let me just begin by stating clearly and unequivocally that I do not believe President Barack Obama is now, or ever has been Jesus Christ, or even a good stand-in for him. Keep that in mind as you read the next paragraphs or you will entirely miss the point of what I am writing.

I have detected a theme in comments, conversations and remarks among a number of my acquaintances and friends when speaking of Mr. Obama. Below are some made up examples of the kind of statements I have heard.

He’s from Chicago you know. They play hardball there and that’s where he learned his politics.

What do you expect? He’s from Chicago.

Those Chicago boys sure know how to play the game. You can’t trust ‘em. They’ll do whatever it takes to get the votes and Obama held his own there.

Whenever I hear that sort of thing, I just can’t help thinking of a similar platitude uttered years and years ago in another corner of the world. People would listen to Jesus preach and be fascinated, but when they heard where he was from, they would utter “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”

I have heard many a preacher and Bible teacher remark on the prejudice and foolishness of that remark. And I think we would all agree that the sentiment is short sighted to say the least. But let’s reframe it, shall we?

“Can anything good come out of Chicago?”

You may say yes. You may say no. We shall see, shan't we?

Practical Ecclesiology 9 - Matters of the Heart

I was introduced to Bob Bennett in college, in the mid-80's. He has a golden tenor voice, girded up with expressive guitar work, and singing images that I found by turns beautiful, uplifting, heart rending, and challenging. He does very very good work. He is not, however, the sort of singer songwriter that will really ever make the big splash. I don't think he would put up with the sort of poop that is required to make that big splash. 

I have always sensed in his work a rigorous integration of his faith, his life and his art. I appreciate that. 

This song speaks for itself. Listen to it, and those of you who know our church may find that it touches on some of our current dilemnas.

25 Things

There is a thing going around Facebook where you list 25 things about yourself and post it to your profile. Then you "tag" 25 people on your friends list so that they will look at your list and create one of their own. After I got tagged for this by three different people, I decided to just get it over with. 

It's funny to notice the kind of things people choose to put up on their list. The design of the exercise is intentionally random, but it reveals much about the participants state of mind, or state of life at the time when they write their list. As I often say about such lists, they provide a fascinating psychological profile. I have no idea what that profile means, but it is fascinating. 

Realizing that my facebook audience is somewhat circumscribed by my pickiness about my friends, I thought I would post the list here where anybody can read it. I'm not picky about who reads my blog. You can thank me or curse me for that as seems appropriate to you.

1.      Whenever people forward emails asking to send cards to cancerous children (or any other spamtastically perpetrated falsehood), I make it my personal mission to let them know it’s a hoax.

2.      I cut my own hair. Sometimes I miss a spot. My wife lets me know. There isn't that much so it can be hard to tell.

3.      I learned to ski when I was 42 years old.

4.      When my Mom was dying last year, my 7 year old made me a card. She drew a picture of Grammie surrounded by a heart. It said, “You are loved.” It’s my favorite and I scanned it and it’s my computer desktop.

5.      I can sing all of “Lydia the Tattooed Lady”. I often do. Out loud. It’s my kids’ favorite.

6.      I was baptized in a lake in NH. I remember watching the leeches trying to attach themselves to the pastor’s foot while he was praying. It was funny to watch him dance in the water and try to maintain his holy demeanor at the same time.

7.      I like snow. Really. I do.

8.      I suspect that year ‘round warm weather breeds all manner of disease and character deficiency.

9.      My family has a pet rat.

10.  I once had a gun pulled on me while selling books door to door.

11.  I can recite “Gunga Din” and “The Cremation of Sam McGee” from memory.

12.  I enjoy reminding my kids that people pay thousands of dollars to hear me talk, and they get it for free.

13.  I own 4 cords of firewood that I cut and split myself, and no woodstove.

14.  I look forward to the next time I can run out of the sauna, across the snow, and jump into the lake through a hole cut in the ice, at midnight. That’s good living.

15.  I am learning the joys of single malt scotch whiskey.

16.  I love bacon. Bacon is a gift from God, with the help of the pig.

17.  I never played organized official football in my life. And I still have my knees.

18.  One of my legs could feed a family of four in Guatemala for 3 weeks, possibly four if they are frugal.

19.  I have a dent in my skull, from jumping up and hitting my head on a low ceiling.

20.  I can flare my nostrils. It’s a hereditary thing. I’m waiting to see if my kids can do it.

21.  I once raced someone in a contest to see who could eat a paper napkin the fastest. I lost, but not for lack of trying. I’ve never forgotten that Peter. You up for a rematch?

22.  When swimming, if I attempt to do the dead man’s float, I will end up floating vertically, with the top of my head 2 inches below the surface of the water.

23.  I once walked 27 miles in one day because a friend promised to take me to an all you can eat restaurant. I could have walked farther, but I had to meet him at 7:00 p.m. It kind of irked me that I still had two hours of good walking daylight left, but hey – the Western Sizzler was calling.

24.  God has gifted me with children that are hungry for books.

25.  My wife loves me. This is no small thing. You have no idea. No really. You don’t.

Practical Ecclesiology 8 - All Religion is Local

I lifted this from Michael Spencer over at InternetMonk. It is classic Spencer and just worth quoting at length. I recommend his writing. From his recent post Theology, Depression, and the Unsolvable Problem of the Right Church.

Now, I want to get down to this matter of the One True Church. If you judge that you are a person who believes there is only one true denomination, then I believe you should check out the candidates from the RCC to the EC to the LCMS to the local Church of Christ (if you are in west Kentucky) and reduce your choices to the actual candidates. You simply don’t need to mess around with denominations that don’t believe there’s only one true franchise or that believe we are all part of the broken, fragmented body of Christ. If you are in a typical Baptist church and you really believe that Jesus made the successor of Peter the living authority, then go to the RCC…please. Whatever the issues are that are keeping you from doing that aren’t very important.

Now, if you say “I just don’t know….” you should keep reading.

10. I am a critical and analytical person. Send me to ten churches, and I will find ten things to like and ten things not to like at each one. I do not believe that any congregation is an expression of the one true church so much that there aren’t problems. But this is my nature. It’s EASY for me to see the brokenness and hard for me to see anyone’s claim to being the one, divine “it.”

Now, if I am convinced that one Denomination is right, my problem is going to be this: I still have to belong to a congregation, and a congregation is the place where the “essentials” are worked out in real life, not just in my head. So if I believe that the RCC has it right, I won’t be hanging out with B16 or Scott Hahn. I’ll be at Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility, a fine congregation that doesn’t have a piano, that has congregational meetings that make me want to be Shinto and a priest who thinks a homily is practice for his missed career in stand-up. Oh yes, the Catechism is in the church library, but THIS is where I am a member, out here where no one knows what I’m even talking about.

If I believe the Southern Baptist Convention is the church Jesus started, then I’m clearly insane, but for the sake of the illustration…..here’s this wonderful statement of faith, and a great missions network, and Al Mohler and those fine Calvinistic Ascol boys. But at my church….doctrine has been replaced with “How to be a great parent” sermons, the deacons have fired the last three pastors in less than 4 years, the music is a cross between an 80’s metal band made up of fat 45 year old men and the senior adult choir singing from the 1956 hymnal. We haven’t baptized a convert since 1993. Our current pastor looks like Ryan Seacrest and the youth minister looks like the Mindfreak guy.

That’s your church. Oh sure, you can drive elsewhere and you can improve. (I drive two hours each way.) You can work for improvement. You can do all that stuff. But here’s my point: You chose the one true denomination, you still have to deal with your local church. It is the place you do or don’t hear the Bible. It’s the place you do or don’t start churches and do evangelism. It’s the place you are or are not taught the faith you read about on that great web site.

The search for the one true denomination will drive some of you into depression, especially if you can’t admit that no such church exists and that you may never be happy if you find it. That every church is a compromise. That they all require you to live with some tension. You are convinced the LCMS has it right doctrinally? Great. Been to a local LCMS church lately? It’s a dice roll. That’s not an indictment. That’s the grown up world and it’s true across the board.

Mr. Obama's Inaugural Address

I must say that I am immensely pleased to see that the art of high oratory still lives. Mr. Obama’s words, spoken before millions in his Inaugural Address, were inspiring, thoughtfully conceived, powerfully delivered and altogether stirring to the heart. I felt both uplifted and challenged by his address, grimly clear on the work that lies ahead, yet brave and ready to do my part to take it on. The best thing is that this was not a merely political speech. It rose to the level of civic oratory – words for the people, to the people, to give us heart when our hearts are wavering.

I can imagine that there are cynics who will pooh-pooh the use of high-falutin’ language and fancy buzzwords. They will sit back, with arms crossed and lips curled, and say, “We’ll see. Just watch. He has yet to prove himself.” I would say that the proving has begun. It is by no means complete, but it has begun. So to remain cold and dispassionate, to look down your nose at words like those he spoke today is to remain a cynic to spite your own nose. 

One might think that he is using them self-servingly, for that is what politicians do. Yet even if that were true, that does not mean that we need to receive them that way. The ideas upon which Mr. Obama drew for his first speech as President were so grounded in our founding documents, so woven into the thought fabric of the American experience, so fundamental to our unique culture, that if you choose to stand apart from them you risk appearing to turn your back on the best our country stands for. It does not matter to which party you belong. As Americans we share The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States, the legacies of many great men and women who worked and lived and served and lead us over many many years. This address was in the best traditions of all those. So whatever you think of the man, his words, his call to us, was deeper and broader than himself and calls us to look beyond him to the native and bedrock truth of those words themselves. 

Now the real work begins (well, after all the dancing and drinking anyways). I once doubted his capacity to lead. Knowing human nature as I do, I will always reserve a portion of that doubt for no man can live up to even his own highest expectation of himself, never mind an entire nation's hopes. Nevertheless my sincere prayer is that Mr. Obama will continue to prove himself. That he will indeed become the lens through which the American people will focus our energies to light the future, the fulcrum that will help us to raise ourselves out of these dark times together. It is a high calling we have called him to, and he has echoed it back to us. Let us respond with all the strength of heart and hand and brain, together.

God Bless America.

Read the full transcript of Barak Obama's Inaugural Address here.