Repent or Give Me Candy!!!!

Doug Wilson over at Blog and Mablog commenting on Halloween and All Saints Day:

…the bottom line for us, is that both of these two days belong to the Christian church, and not to the pagans. And the days have been ours for many centuries, despite certain pagan encroachments of late. We should keep the days, and fight off the encroachments. And so . . .

Here are a few things to do: We are encouraging parishes to hold Reformation Day/All Saints Day parties and gatherings. The mood should be festive and filled with rejoicing — an exhibition of our gratitude for the faithfulness of the martyrs of the early church and the martyrs of the Reformation. This obviously can (and should) include kids dressing up and getting boatloads of candy, but I would strongly urge that no one have their kids dress up as members of the other team — witches, ghosts, devils, imps, or congressmen. We do want to urge a high level of celebration, but we don’t want to take our cues from the surrounding culture. So if you take your kid around to grandma’s house dressed up like a red M & M, or like Theodore Beza, don’t have them say trick or treat the same way some ghost or witch would. Of course, repent or perish or sola fide probably wouldn’t work either. Let’s do this differently, and intelligently, and still have fun. So have them say trick or treat the way a cute M & M would.

What to avoid. We want parish parties, not pious parties. So when neighborhood trick or treaters come to your door, I would encourage you to give them more candy than unbelievers give, as opposed to a glare and/or a tract about the fires of hell. We want to behave during this time in such a way that their celebrations are revealed as far more anemic than ours (not to mention twisted and gross). We do not want our parish parties to be a cheesy alternative, a sort of faux-Halloween. It should be a true All Hallow’s Eve, a true Reformation Day blow-out.

When growing up, my church would try this with some sort of lame “Harvest Celebration.” The problem wasn’t the theme. The problem was that Baptists have no idea how to party as Baptists. I’m guessing that more than a few people in that church knew how to party, just not as Baptists. I recall even back then as a high schooler, while attending a wedding reception, that it just did not seem nearly as much fun as it ought to have. It was held in the church gym and resembled an after church coffee hour more than anything else. It was mostly people standing around, eating cake and talking.  I remember thinking "What is wrong with these people? Is this really all there is? There should be music and dancing and stuff."  Of course, I knew that that sort  of thing was simply not permitted, but it just seemed wrong somehow. If there was any time that it would be right to dance, it would be at a wedding. I must say that some of that Baptistness must have rubbed off, as I have been accused of being someone who could stand to learn to party more. 

I’m not really convinced that the Presbyterians have this figured out either, but more power to them I say. 

Even so, the emphasis point of NOT dressing up as the “other team” is well taken.  I believe in our house the current plans lean toward an Egyptian Princess (a la Cleopatra) and Nancy Drew. I tried to interest them in Joan of Arc, but frankly the armor is hard to come by.

A Tree, A Grave and a Really Big Party!!!

Assistant Village Idiot rejects the planting of a memorial tree. I can certainly understand that as far as it goes. To think that by planting a tree instead of a gravestone you extend your remembrance strikes me also as a misplaced sentiment. But if you take a much shorter and much less sentimental view, then planting a tree can be a pretty good idea. I would like to offer my survivors two options. While both require some effort, I think they may be worthwhile.

Option A.

Plant a fruit tree directly on my grave. Plant me below it in a simple pine box. The idea is that the tree’s roots should penetrate the box and assimilate me into the itself. I will be a huge organic fertilizer spike. It must be a fruit tree, preferably an apple tree. You see, when it gets to the point where it can bear fruit, lots of yummy apples, then take those apples one autumn, mash them and press them. Take the resulting juice and put it up to ferment. That’s right – Cider. Lots of it.

Then have a party. Invite people from all over. Drink all the cider. Tell ridiculous stories. Stay up very late. Sing loud songs. And Dance a lot to wild music, preferably by live musician playing stringed instruments and drums. If you wish, repeat the ritual yearly until the tree is too old to bear fruit any longer. Then cut it down and burn it at the last party. Roast a pig over the coals and have a really great final shindig. Then forget about me.

Option B

Burn my body. Scatter the ash over a plot earth. Till the plot and grow a garden fertilized by my ashes. Grow vegetables of all kinds. Especially grow cabbage, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions, Take whatever gets thinned out or that you can’t eat and feed it to a pig.. Take the veggies and make cole slaw, salsa, soup, and whatever else you can think of that is good. Kill the pig and roast it over a hardwood fire. Serve it with cider, barbecue sauce, cole slaw and salsa from the garden. Have a barrel of cider on hand. Eat it all, drink it all, laugh a lot…you know the drill.

I prefer Option A, but let me suggest that if you cut my body in half, burn one half and bury the other, then you can have it both ways. It has a certain symmetry to it really.

And…after the Resurrection, we all get to do it all again, forever, but without the whole dying part. I'll be able to join in directly. I figure these little rituals can me my way of helping the descendants practice for the Eternal Wedding Feast of the Lamb. We better start practicing now…it’s a real endurance event. We’re gonna need to get ready.