- Burn it every couple weeks.
- Rent it to a farmer who will mow it for hay 3 times a year.
- Till it under and sow it in wildflowers.
- Buy a goat in the spring. Let it eat my lawn all summer. Turn it into shish kabobs and curry in October.
I had a friend recently described to me as a "Lawn Nazi." I guess that means that he is extremely zealous and exacting in his approach to lawn care. I guess that makes me a "Lawn Communist" because it's the most opposite thing to a fascist of the front yard that I can think of.
My lawn mower broke, and I ignored the growing grass for about 4 weeks, hoping it would just go away. Parts of the lawn reached almost 8 inches high. I actually kind of liked it that way. I bought a used mower for $75 and knocked the grass down today. I'm not sure whether it was a much better mower than my old one, but it sure seemed to work better. Of course, the blade was probably actually sharp, so that instead of bludgeoning the grass into submission, I was actually cutting it.
Whatever. Mowing the lawn is stupid. Really stupid.